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This period signifies a ten-year milestone since the phrase “disappearing” hit the public consciousness. Back then, the idea that someone could abruptly cease communication with a partner without explanation seemed like the height of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, seeking a partner has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes fruitless pursuit in humiliation that is increasingly defined by online jargon.

Generation Z, a cohort who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated assault on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a far messier landscape than their Gen Y forerunners could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a comprehensive glossary to the terms Zoomers is using to discuss love, intimacy and the quest of both. To channel one of the year’s most viral memes, by the end of this list you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – According to gen Z, dating’s ideal is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s reply is interested or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding mystery and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This means choosing someone who aids you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do affordable romance in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional excess, it describes pairs who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of playing it cool: practicing communication, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Red flags – Behavioral habits suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. For instance calling their exes unstable, bad tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks affirm your decision to pursue a partner. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, largely inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (few things builds closeness faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The rare partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and frequently trivial repulsions that immediately shut down any feelings of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic display.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some gen Z prefer fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {